March 19th, 2016
Photo by Kelly Turla from a photoshoot I modeled for this past Fall.
From my first blog post ever in 2013 with my little sony point and shoot.
Comparison, this is my worst enemy. I discourage myself by comparing my career to others. I fill myself with doubt and disbelief that robs me from seeing my blessings, even if they look different then others who are much more successful. The time invested in my career between these two photos is immense, I forgot how far I have come since the beginning. I discredit my gifts or accomplishments because they don’t measure up in my eyes. I am using the wrong measuring tool. I can’t place my career next to another’s and look at the numbers to find a true value on how I am doing. This will only ever allow damage, not encouragement and growth.
Obviously, I would always choose growth vs. damage when put in such simple terms. We disguise the truth when we compare ourselves to others: whether it be family, friends, career, or image. I am shocked by the thoughts that cross my mind on a daily basis, they are so discouraging when I actually think about them. I am damaging myself by my own thought up negativity. Do you find yourself doing this as well?
I battle with myself daily. Why don’t I have the ‘likes’ she does? Why don’t I have the number of ‘followers’ she has? Why am I not being reached out to by those companies like she is? Do my posts and creativity matter? Am I actually able to influence in the way I want? I could go on for hours on the questions I ask myself and truly believe the worst possible answer to. Do you struggle with negative self-talk about insecurities?
Sometimes, the battle within our minds is the biggest battle we will ever face. We have the power to build ourselves up or to tear ourselves down. I find myself being so eager to help and encourage others but when it comes to myself, I could honestly care less. Shouldn’t we be treasuring ourselves and encouraging ourselves on a daily basis? Saying, “Great job! You are beautiful! You are important! Your thoughts and abilities are amazing!”. How long has it been since you encouraged yourself?
The issue isn’t with the things we cannot control, it starts with the things we CAN control. No one else can change your thoughts. No one else can change your beliefs in yourself. No one else can change your eyes and what you decide to see. No one else can change your acceptance of yourself. You. You are the one that can change. What a power we have! Why aren’t we using it? One word…
Our world is built on image and success. How can we step away from that in order to have true joy in life? We must lay our pride aside and live to please the Lord. End of story but definitely not the end of the journey. When we live for others or even ourselves, we lose our focus. This song has really spoken to me when I get discouraged with where I feel my career is. This point of discouragement happens more than I would like to admit but I know I am the root of this discouragement. I am determined to change this pattern. It’s no longer for me or for pleasing others, but for Him. Your image, your friendships, your family life, your decorated home, your success… is no longer for you but for Him.