Why are you still single?

If you are single and in your 20's, 30's, or 40's you have probably been asked this same question. How do you answer? I never know what to say exactly.

Why do I NOT let my relationship status define me? There is SO much more to a person than who they are dating/married to. WE define who we are, not the person we may be with. Since when did our relationship status define who we are? Also, why is this how we try and relate to each other.

So, why am I still single? Why, because I am not willing to settle for a match that isn't right for me. I also didn't really know who I was until this year. You can't give your all in a relationship until you know who you are first.

What does single mean? Single doesn't mean hermit y'all. I go on dates, I am getting to know people, open to opportunities, I am just not in a committed relationship. Hey, I even take myself on dates!

Is it lonely? YES. It can be so so lonely. I am growing to be ok with being alone but gosh it does get lonely. Especially when you are in your late 20's and are literally the only one in your circle that is in this awkward stage of life: single, full-time career, non-homeowner, non-mother, non-wife. There isn't a box for me and you know what, I am ok with that...most of the time.

In the eloquent words of my gal Carrie Bradshaw, "...I couldn't help but wonder...When did being alone become the modern day equivalent of being a leper?".

Since my divorce over a year ago, I had to do some major healing and soul searching. It has been a bumpy rough road of recovery. Even though it's been messy and painful, I am thankful for this time as it has grown me into a confident person. I am ok sitting at dinner by myself at a SITDOWN restaurant, not in my car. I am ok taking a road trip for a weekend getaway by myself. I am ok not having anyone else to talk to and sitting with my own thoughts/feelings.

Can you honestly say that you enjoy your OWN company? If you can't, then you should really consider taking time alone. There is value in being able to be comfortable and confident in being alone.

My schedule isn't confined to what I feel like I can do comfortably, I challenge myself. I stopped waiting to live life until I found someone to enjoy it with, I am living life until the right person joins me on this adventure.

Being alone used to scare me. Now, it's incredibly empowering. I am focusing on developing myself and that feels DANG good!

Now go check out Michelle from Mash Elle, take on "why are you still single". She is a 29-year-old career woman like myself! This is the first of our "No BS Dating Series" that we will be writing on twice a month! So, get ready. Some deep topics but also some fun ones too!

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