absolute worst date stories
Grab a glass of rose` and try to read these absolute worst date stories without laughing or grimacing! If you have ever felt like you were alone in the terrible dating world, you won't feel that way now!
Be sure to check Michelle's post because she has some stories of her experience and her followers you won't want to miss!
MY WORST DATE STORIES
The anti-anxiety med guy. I was SO excited for this date. He was charming, had been talking for a couple of days, and we hit it off. After one cocktail I could tell he was sort of sleepy or I was boring him. Long story short, he was so nervous he took an anti-anxiety medication which compounded with alcohol, made him snoozville. We were supposed to have a do-over in which he ghosted me on.
The atheist wine connoisseur guy. So this guy thought it was going to go well. He seemed charming and we were talking for about a week before we met up. First strike, the place he chose was closed so I had to text him and ask where to meet him. Second strike, he mentions he never takes a first date to a place with a meal because he doesn't want to invest in a dinner, wine, dessert, etc if he isn't into it. The third strike, he says I'm a bold atheist and can tell you are a Christian, I hope you won't try to convert me. Had a lovely time at a very bugee restaurant, walk out, he kissed me on the cheek and said goodnight sport. Oh man, pretty much all fronts of this date were BAD.
The "too soon" guy. We had been talking for about a week and were arranging our first date. In this conversation he said, let's just cut to the chase, make sure to pack a bag because we both know you are spending the night. I texted him an "ugh, no thanks" to which he responded "too soon" with an agel emoji. #blocked
The guy that stood me up. Did you catch THIS post from a year ago? We had arranged to meet at my favorite coffee shop/ bar. I sat in my car because I NEVER show up first. I always will arrive early, sit on my phone until I see them go in or they say they sat down, and then I go in. I am weird, get over it! So this guy never texted me back. Long story short I waited 45 minutes before I drove off, blocked him, and bought myself 6 tacos!
The meet my grandma guy. Get this, on our way to our first date, he says he has to stop and grab something. We pull up to a house in a cute neighborhood and he asks me to go with him. I do because I am kind. Walk up to the door only to be greeted by a sweet little grey-haired lady saying, "sweetie, I have heard so much about you!". This was so awkward! Sat and had dessert with her, then went on our first and LAST date. Don't introduce people to your family on the first date unless they know about it and agree to it!
The "tell me your sexual history" guy. Ok, this one is good. Sitting across from this handsome man, talking for about an hour. Laughing and looking into my Moscow mule because he is making me blush with his adorable flirting. Then, he looks at you, and says "so tell me about your sexual history". Ummmmmmmmm bro what?! Immediately I snapped out of the unicorn and rainbow state of mind, avoided the question, finished the date like a classy gal would, and never spoke to him again.
The awkward friend level guy. Top Golf, cocktails, burritos. The perfect combination of a great first date! Unless you awkwardly feel like you are on a date with your brothers best friend and literally have no romantic zing or connection with the guy. Then when you let him off easy, he asks for a second chance. Word to the wise, go with your gut! Easier on the both of you. He ended up more hurt in the end because he pushed for a second date.
The "it's just coffee" guy. They guilted and pressured you into hanging out, saying "it's just coffee" but they think it's a date. Coffee turns to brunch and working together at a coffee shop. Then when you reiterate what you have been telling them for weeks, that you're not interested in dating, they ghost you because you hurt their ego.
The not ready for a relationship guy. Picture this, sitting and talking for HOURS, really connecting for the first time in a long time, can't think of the last time you were so excited to talk with someone. Then after you get back home, he texts you and says he's just not ready for a relationship. Then bro, don't go on a date!!!
The postpone and cancel guy. Ya. No room for this in my life anymore! If you want something bad enough, NOTHING will stop you from pursuing it. If you make plans with me and then cancel not once...not twice...but three times?! I'm saying no from here on out. Then you come back a couple of months later and try it again...nope nope nope.
The "wanna go back to my place" guy. Coffee date went so good! I was on cloud 9 until he suggested we go back to his place to cook dinner...on the first date...after meeting him for the first time...off a dating app. Not trying to get murdered here carl!
The party guy. A guy wanted me to go to a party. Thought it would be fun to hang out. Ended up that hanging out wasn't on his mind and I'm probably too old to go to parties now because that is not how I roll!
The "i'm a cuddly person" guy. Aka, code for I like to push the boundaries and I am going to make you feel really uncomfortable for not being ok with it and feel like you can't stand up for yourself. Never trust a guy that says this, especially on a first date or rather a first hang out.
YOUR STORIES
WORST DATES
Foot fetish guy. Found out by the end of the night. OMG, I am so sorry!
Puke at the parent's guy. Met the parents at their house, ended up puking all evening. Hey, they are still together 3 years later!
Slap me guy. Mid makeout session, he looks at her dead in the eye and asks her to slap him. Oh that will be a hard NO!
Drunk Puker. He got so drunk that she drove him home where he puked down the side of her car. Please tell me he paid to get your car cleaned?!
Naked Twin. The way she found out the guy she was dating was an identical twin was when the identical twin burst into the room...naked. Well, there's one way to break the ice!
Commitment Phobia. After 5 years of dating, she finds out he has commitment issues. Girl, I feel you!
Liar hung up on ex. Drove her 3 miles away to go to a Seahawk's game in Seattle where he played his ex-girlfriends favorite songs, refused to buy her food, didn't hold any doors open, and lied about being a virgin...Well, you dodged a bullet!
Is that your real name. Went on a blind date with a guy named Billy Truelove. Yes, this isn't a joke!
Can I take off my pants. They were watching a movie and the guy asks if he could take off his pants to "be more comfortable" and was serious. Not smooth at all, that is just CREEPY! I hope you ran!
Clumsy. He bumped and spilled literally all over her head! Poor dude.
Ex fiance' drama. Started crying telling her his ex-fiance` was hooking up with their wedding DJ. Can we say, needs emotional healing?
Dating jitters. She was nervous about dating because well, it's dating! Drank before the date. Got to bar 3 and got sick. Honey, we have all been there!
Temper tantrum. He was told that she didn't want to go further and he blew up...in public. You dodged a major train wreck GF!
Gym friend with no character. Talked on and off with a guy that worked at her gym. Set a date and got stood up! The guys at the gym are never good, I tell ya!
BEST DATE
Marriage is my intention. After dating guys with commitment issues, on the first date with her now-husband, he lays it all out and says he is dating for marriage and if that's not what she is into then we should end it. Like, YES!
Vespa Tour. Rode around on a Vespa all afternoon and had dinner with a view...is this real life?!
MY BEST DATE STORIES
The rainy beach day guy. Hands down the most romantic date of my life. Drive to the coast on an overcast day, hike the sandy dune, split fish tacos, wait out the rain in the car with a glass of wine, build a bonfire on the beach, make the best smores, and have the sweetest first kiss.
The dancing at a concert guy. The connection from this night was electric. Not just a physical connection, but there was a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection I have never known before! We danced all night at a concert, danced and sang in the car on the way to and from the concert. I figured out, it's not what you do it's who you are with that makes the difference.
Yup, two good dates in over 1.5 years of being divorced. Men, if you are listening, do better.
Literal conversation with my sister today as I was reflecting on this!
