Are you an extrovert and trying to figure out how to navigate dating with your personality type? I am with you! Michelle and I decided to share our tips for dating as an introvert and an extrovert.
Both Michelle and I are on the cusp of these traits. I am 60% Extroverted and 40% Introverted which means both of these posts have insight on me. Most of the time we are a mix of both so be sure to read each post!
TEST to see which one you are!
HOW TO DATE AS AN EXTROVERT
listen twice as much as you talk
As an extrovert, we can overtake a conversation and not even realize it. I try and listen to the other person twice as much as I am talking. This helps the conversation to stay balanced. We have a lot to say!
ask questions to invite conversation
This is so important. We can talk endlessly but inviting someone else into the conversation is essential. Asking questions helps to keep the conversation going and let it ebb and flow naturally. Also, listen to them to listen NOT to respond.
slow down your speech
We can get very excited and animated. We also tend to talk fast when this happens, especially if you are nervous. Slow down your speech so your date can listen and understanding the valuable things you have to say.
suggest date ideas
As an extrovert, we tend to be down for anything! Having date ideas to suggest is a huge win for everyone. I tend to go on dates with guys that are more on the introverted side so helping with the date ideas helps the date to be more natural and not as anxiety-provoking.
avoid small talk, talk about life
This is a big one for me. Small talk doesn’t always work with everyone, it’s a skill that isn’t universal. Asking them about their life, passions, or careers helps you to see and hear their personality clearly.
avoid too much alcohol
Yes. I have been there and done that. Totally overwhelmed my date because I had too many glasses of wine and was WAY too energized to realize I was overwhelming the poor guy with my extrovert excessiveness. Keep your wits about you at all times in the early stages of dating.
check-in with your partner
This, my friends, will save you. Have open communication on each other’s energy and emotional availability. If you can tell they have had a stressful long week, ask them if they want to reschedule your night out and opt for a movie and snuggle sesh. Also, be ok if they need the evening to recharge. This has NOTHING to do with you but what they are able to give at that time.
express your needs clearly
People are not mind readers and we tend to forget that they probably can’t understand our hints. Be clear with your needs with them, help break the ice on difficult conversations, and learn clear communication skills.
know that silence isn’t always bad
Sometimes we all need a little quiet. Spending time together, enjoying each other’s presence, in silence helps to meet both needs of an introvert recharge and an extrovert closeness.
Dear introverts in a relationship with us extroverts,
We wear our hearts on our sleeves and sometimes don’t realize our bursting personality is overwhelming. Gently affirm us verbally that you value us while still protecting your introvert needs. Suggest date ideas that will not push you over the edge if you are close to a burnout. Be clear and loving in your communication of your needs and we will be loving and respectfully standing by you!
INTROVERTS + EXTROVERTS DATING TIPS
• Respect each other’s differences.
• Learn to clearly communicate your needs.
• Meet 50/50 on meeting each other’s needs.
• Have realistic expectations of investment in the relationship.
• Work through communication styles.
• Know your personality to share more clearly with your partner.
Have fun and enjoy the magic of getting to know someone intimately.